The high school years can seem like they're made up of one catastrophe after another, with seemingly innocuous problems becoming matters of life or death. Napoleon's day-destroying catastrophe? Running out of chapstick while stuck at school, which prompts him to quickly call his older brother Kip with a desperate plea. Kip, as calm as an ambulance dispatcher, explains that the school nurse has five chapstick tubes in her drawer, more than enough to solve Napoleon's emergency.
Napoleon, in his infinite wisdom, doesn't condone the sick and twisted logic of using someone else's chapstick and must brave chapped lips for the remainder of the day.
As if the chapstick debacle wasn't bad enough, Napoleon had to get through an entire day of high school just to come home and find that Kip had not only eaten all the chips but was allowed to pass off dinner duty for Tina because he was chatting with "hot babes".
When Napoleon's absentee grandmother asked him how his day went, he was sure to let her know it was the worst day of his life, especially since they were out of steaks, and he'd have to fend for himself as far as dinner was concerned.
Napoleon does a lot of things to secure Deb's affections including a majestic interpretive dance , and while he might not have been able to pull off any grand romantic gestures , he does -with the best intent- offer her some delicious bass. Just like in the game of tetherball, sometimes he swings and makes contact, and sometimes he misses and gets hit in the face, but he always tries his hardest.
Luckily, Deb decides to play tetherball with him, which means that even if Napoleon loses the game, he's still won at life. Deb doesn't seem to find it in the least bit strange that he offers her fish as a courting gift, which is one of the reasons they're so perfect for one another. Where a teenager spends their summer can be a big deal, with the one who's stayed home doing nothing often deemed the biggest loser.
Not one to be outdone by Don, one of Napoleon's biggest bullies , he concocts a wild story about how he wiled away the summer days during a chat in the locker room. Unfortunately at this point in the movie, Napoleon hasn't learned how to be his authentic self, so he resorts to hiding behind tall tales and getting defensive so that the bullies will leave him alone.
Eventually, he'll learn to stop trying to impress people he doesn't even like. Napoleon Dynamite : [taunting a bully] Oh yeah? Who's the only one here who knows secret Ninja moves from the government? Uncle Rico : So what do you think? Kip : It's pretty cool, I guess. Uncle Rico : Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time.
I'd take state. Napoleon Dynamite : This is pretty much the worst video ever made. Kip : Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
Uncle Rico : You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. Napoleon Dynamite : You guys are retarded! Napoleon Dynamite : Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys. Uncle Rico : I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. Napoleon Dynamite : I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up! Uncle Rico : I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now.
While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' bucks. Napoleon Dynamite : I could make that much money in five seconds! Kip : Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico : Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina. Napoleon Dynamite : Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap! Napoleon Dynamite : Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec? Secretary No. Napoleon Dynamite : I don't feel very good. Kip : [making nachos on the other side of the line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite : Is grandma there? Kip : No, she's getting her hair done. Napoleon Dynamite : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kip : What do you need? Napoleon Dynamite : Can you just go get her for me? Kip : I'm really busy right now. Napoleon Dynamite : Just tell her to come get me. Kip : Why? Napoleon Dynamite : Cause I don't feel good! Kip : Well, have you talked to the school nurse? Napoleon Dynamite : No, she doesn't know anything.
Will you just come get me? Kip : No. Napoleon Dynamite : Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick? Kip : No, Napoleon. Napoleon Dynamite : But my lips hurt real bad! Kip : Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite : I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko! Kip : See ya. Napoleon Dynamite : Uh! Deb : Um, hello. Would you like to look like this? Napoleon Dynamite : [Napoleon takes the photo and looks at it] This is a girl. Napoleon Dynamite : I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral. Deb : Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts? Deb And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion. Napoleon Dynamite : I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.
Kip : It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online. Napoleon Dynamite : Yeah, right. Kip : It works, Napoleon. You don't even know. Napoleon Dynamite : Have you guys tried it yet?
Kip : [reluctantly] No. Napoleon Dynamite : I like your sleeves. They're real big. Deb : Thank you. I made them myself. Napoleon Dynamite : So are you and Pedro getting really serious now? Deb : No. We're just friends. Kip : [Napoleon has Kip in a sleeper-hold] Ow!
Ah geez! Napoleon Dynamite : What the crap was Uncle Rico doin' at my girlfriend's house? Kip : Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruisin' my neck meat! Napoleon Dynamite : Fine! Napoleon Dynamite : What the heck are you guys doin'?
Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a freakin' idiot? Kip : I'm out makin' some sweet moola with Uncle Rico. Geez, I think you ripped my mole off. Napoleon Dynamite : I did? Kip : Yeah, is it bleeding?
Napoleon Dynamite : A little bit. Napoleon Dynamite : Lucky. Napoleon Dynamite : Ugh. Kip hasn't done flipping anything today! Napoleon Dynamite : Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now. Pedro : Why? Pedro : Do you have anything to give to her? Napoleon Dynamite : No. Not unless she likes fish. Her first viral hit was a Wes Anderson-inspired take on a pandemic routine. In another video, she mashed together Twilight and Gossip Girl.
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